I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
