if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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