SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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