my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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