You're completely useless in the revolution.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
