Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
