are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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