This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
