Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
