out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
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I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
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She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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