sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
