y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
