This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
