Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Randomize
