Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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