We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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