idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
