I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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