This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
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