But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
