this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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