Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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