A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
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he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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