i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
