so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
