it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
