woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
