he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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