I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize