Sponge bath it is.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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