i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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