Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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