Moan for me like Helen Keller
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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