I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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