In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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