You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
