ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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