Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
