I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
operation have a gay friend backfired
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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