I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
