so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
