So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
