physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
