i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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