...so i touched it.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
