I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The uberlube is also flammable
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
