Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
