Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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