She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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