shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
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