Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize