My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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