what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
