Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
