She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
