new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
