Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes

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(203): View more from Connecticut

He told me they were just razor bumps!

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does

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(206): View more from Washington

This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"

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(904): View more from Florida

Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.

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(330): View more from Ohio

she's p upset bro

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Where is he. I have a sword.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.

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