guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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