bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
