he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
